Peer Support Line

Call SQSH’s Peer Support Line to chat with a trained queer/LGBTQIA-affirming peer counselor.

Local: 314-380-7774 / Toll-free: 844-785-7774

Open Hours: Friday through Monday, 1–7pm CT

If you are in a crisis while SQSH’s Warmline is offline, please consider calling one of these hotlines.

Want an empathetic, non-judgmental listening ear? SQSH’s Peer Support Line offers free, confidential, and identity-affirming emotional support and resource referrals, by and for the St. Louis queer/LGBTQIA+ community.

Call anytime during our open hours (we’re open on the weekend)! Our Peer Counselors would love to chat with you.

Although we are a St. Louis-specific group, we welcome calls from anywhere in the world! If you call from outside of St. Louis, our Peer Counselors are still able to provide peer counseling and emotional support, but may work collaboratively with you to search for suitable resources in your area.

Rainbow gradient background with looping green lines and a large white text box. In the bottom left corner is a photo of Avi, our helpline coordinator

  • Understanding

    “I felt understood and cared for… which I don’t often feel. I didn’t expect to feel this much better, but I’m feeling more hopeful and less alone. So thank you a lot for this.”

  • Judgement-Free

    “I’ve been having a really hard time recently. I needed to be able to talk to someone about everything going on without fear of judgment. I felt like I could do that with SQSH.”

  • Validating

    “When I shared about everything, I received consistent validation, which was something I really needed to hear today. I really appreciated how my peer counselor remembered the things I said and provided helpful responses that made things feel better.”

  • Comfortable

    “Even though I’m usually uncomfortable with talking on the phone, my peer counselor kept the conversation going and made me feel really comfortable. I had a great first experience and feel more comfortable with calling SQSH in the future.”

  • Peer Support

    “I found it really helpful to hear my peer counselor’s validation from a place of personal experience. To hear them tap into experiences of their own marginalization that parallel my own story.”

  • Caller Led

    “As a QTPOC, even when I’m seeking support, I constantly expect to have to educate and challenge people’s assumptions in order for my feelings to make sense to them and for me to feel validated. During this call, I didn’t have to explain the way I usually do.”

  • 100% Satisfaction

    100% of callers who answered our Caller Survey said that they were satisfied or very satisfied with the support they received from SQSH, and that they would call SQSH again.

  • * * *

    Disclaimer: These quotes have been edited to remove personally identifiable information and protect our callers’ anonymity while preserving the essence of their stories.

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Schedule a Peer Support Call with SQSH

Have you ever thought about calling SQSH’s Peer Support Line, but hesitated because it’s hard to pick up the phone?

We understand how intimidating it can be to reach out to a stranger, especially for those of us with phone anxiety. To increase the accessibility of our service, SQSH launched a Call Request System in 2020! Use our Call Request Form to request a call from one of our trained LGBTQIA-affirming Peer Counselors.

We still take all incoming calls, so if you wish to speak with a SQSH Peer Counselor right away, call us local at 314-380-7774 or toll-free at 844-785-7774 between Friday-Monday, 1.00 PM to 7.00 PM CT.

This feature was launched on October 19, 2020.

 

How to Use Our Peer Support Line

Our Peer Support Line operates from Friday through Monday, 1:00 PM to 7:00 PM CT. Call in to process emotions, talk through resources, brainstorm ideas to assist a friend or loved one, or simply have a meaningful conversation. If our Peer Support Line is offline but you would still like to speak with someone, we recommend using the local and national hotlines listed on our Resources page.

  • You will first hear an automated greeting. If you are in a mental health crisis, press "1" to reach Behavioral Health Response's 24/7 crisis hotline.
    If you are not in a mental health crisis, press “2” or wait on the line to reach SQSH. Once connected, one of our Peer Counselors will introduce the Peer Support Line and share their name and pronouns.

  • If you are not in a safe place to talk, the Peer Counselor will work with you to explore options where you can talk with us most safely and comfortably.
    If you are in a safe place to talk, the Peer Counselor will ask how they can address you. We welcome you to provide them with your name (or a pseudonym), as well as your pronouns if you’d like.

  • The Peer Counselor will then ask what you would like to talk about today. Go ahead and share as much or as little as you’d like with them! We understand that phone anxiety can make it hard to talk to a stranger over the phone. Our Peer Counselors are here to listen and create a comfortable conversational space for you.

  • At the end of your call, we may ask you to fill out a brief, anonymous online survey about your call experience. We value your feedback and will use it to better serve you and the rest of our community. If you can, do something nice to take care of yourself and decompress afterwards! We welcome you to call back again anytime between Friday–Monday, 1PM–7PM CT.

When to Use Our Peer Support Line

What are some situations in which you might call SQSH? What are some of the day-to-day struggles faced by queer St. Louisans? Watch this short film produced by community members to find out!

 

In 2019-2020, callers who completed our Caller Surveys listed these reasons for calling:

  • Resource Referrals (29%) Housing Other Resource Referrals

  • Emotional Support (71%): Hard Time, Upset, Needing Someone to Talk to, Judgement-free Conversation, Recommendation from Therapist, Listening and Validation, Depression, Isolation, and Stress

“Callers reached out to us for a wide variety of resource and emotional support needs, on behalf of both themselves and/or other people in their lives. These data show caller-survey-reported reasons for calling, and common topics that came up on calls. We hope that presenting these data will help potential future callers see their needs reflected here, and feel validated that all of these reasons and more are worthy and appropriate reasons to reach out. As a peer-led warmline (and not a hotline or crisis line) there is no criteria for severity or type of issue that a caller needs to meet, and you are welcome to call for yourself or someone else.”

—SQSH’s Annual Report 2019-2020, pages 22-23

Peer Support Line call topics included Mental Health (15%), Housing (13%), Community Connection/Support (7%), Queer Identity (6%), Queerphobic Family/Friend/Roommate, Sexual Health (5%), Substance Use (4%), Self Harm (4%), Suicide (4%), Abuse (4%), Grounding/Coping Skills (4%), Gender Transition (4%), Coming Out (4%), Work (4%), Grief (2%), Education (2%), Physical Health (2%), Poor Queer Cultural Competency (2%), Relationship Health (2%), Religion (2%), School (1%), Race (1%), Activism (1%), and Queer-Friendly Business (1%).

Disclaimer: We are a short-term community-run peer counseling service. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, please call someone you trust, 911, or one of the local or national hotlines on our Resources page first. We still welcome your call after you have received the immediate help that you need.

While we are guided by our Clinical Supervisors, we are no substitute for long-term, professional mental health care. Please visit MTUG's list of vetted providers or our SQSHBook Resource Guide to connect with a LGBTQIA-affirming healthcare provider in the St. Louis region.

Features & Policies

Our Peer Support Line fills a unique niche in the St. Louis region as the only LGBTQIA-specific tele-service using a peer counseling approach. Although we are a St. Louis-specific group, we welcome calls from anywhere in the world! If you call from outside of St. Louis, our Peer Counselors are still able to provide peer counseling and emotional support, but would work collaboratively with you to search for and explore suitable resources in your area.

We operate our Peer Support Line based on the following principles and procedures:

  • The Helpline is online Friday through Monday, 1:00 PM to 7:00 PM CT. We set our Helpline hours on weekends because, outside of regular business hours, many folx lack access to mental health care and social support in school or work. If you had a bad week, or are just looking for someone in the LGBTQIA+ community to talk to over the weekend, call in!

  • By peer support, we mean the identity-affirming, relational support that only peers who share similar experiences or identities are able to provide. The source of support is a peer, a person who is similar in fundamental ways to the recipient of the support; their relationship is one of equality. A peer is in a position to offer support by virtue of relevant experience: they have “been there, done that” and can relate to others who are in a similar situation.

  • We honor and value our callers’ life experiences, values, beliefs, and preferences and build on them as strengths. We believe that the caller is the expert who can best help themself and we will work through issues at their pace. As such, we encourage callers to direct calls in a way that is most helpful for them.

  • SQSH will be a generally open service with no referrals required for access. Callers self-identify their need for service and are welcome to call with a variety of issues and situations. The Helpline is a resource for all LGBTQIA+ callers in St. Louis (and their family, friends, and allies), but we will not turn away any caller for not fitting this description. Other St. Louis service providers are also welcome to call on behalf of their LGBTQIA+ client(s).

  • We value our callers’ privacy and right to withhold personal information from uses that they are not aware of or do not consent to. All personally identifiable caller information is kept confidential by the Helpline Volunteer who took the call and shredded by the end of their shift. All physical notes contained non-identifiable caller information must be shredded within a month of the call. All non-identifiable information regarding calls is discussed in private only with the Helpline Team, Facilitation Team, and Advisory Team. To learn more, read our full Confidentiality & Privacy Policy.

  • Each call will be treated as a single session (i.e. not a continuing service with a case plan). Although volunteers undergo extensive, continual training, they are not qualified to provide ongoing counseling, and will thus provide referrals to outside resources if a caller requires ongoing mental health support. However, callers are welcome to use the Helpline more than once.

  • SQSH’s general policy is that we do not initiate non-consensual active rescue. We do not call 911 unless a caller consents to medical intervention, and we never call the police.

    We follow the lead of the Trans Lifeline’s approach, which emphasizes the heightened risks of violence that trans and other marginalized (i.e. mentally ill, Black and brown, immigrant and refugee, disabled, non-English speaking) callers face in interactions with the police and other institutions.

    We rely on Behavioral Health Response (800-811-4760) as our default emergency service. However, we cannot guarantee that BHR will not call 911/police if they perceive a life-threatening suicide crisis.

    Learn more about SQSH’s anti-carceral approach and training for supporting suicidal callers here.

    SQSH’s long-term goal with our community is to create and promote queer-specific, intersectional, de-carceral models and options for suicide intervention.

  • When making referrals and deciding which resources to include in our Resource Manual, we prioritize resources that are LGBTQIA-affirming, such as those that have been vetted by MTUG, Trans Education Service, TransParent, or PROMO, or that have been recommended to us by community members. We will continuously update our Resources page, and welcome relevant pamphlets and brochures to assist in making referrals for callers when needed.

  • To continuously improve our service to the St. Louis LGBTQIA+ community, we always welcome feedback from Helpline users, and regularly check our feedback forms to review input from Helpline users and community members. If you’ve called SQSH recently, take our feedback survey!

  • We foster a tight-knit, supportive volunteer community to honor the principles of peer support within the SQSH community itself, reduce compassion fatigue, and minimize burnout. For every shift, we try to have at least two volunteers on call so that one can debrief, support, and switch roles with the other after a call. Volunteers may also earn practicum hours or academic credit.

Training Curriculum

‍Before taking calls, all Peer Counselors undergo 60+ hours of intense training and evaluations on an extensive range of issues that queer/LGBTQIA+ callers may face. Active Peer Counselors continue to train and refresh their skills throughout the year.

To learn more about our Training Curriculum, please view our Peer Counseling Slide Deck (Summer 2021) or the SQSH Training Binder (Summer 2021).

Here is an outline of our 60-hour standard Peer Counselor Training:

  • Unit 1: Active Listening (Paraphrasing & Summarizing, Mirroring Language & Tone, Open-ended Questions, "I" Statements, Non-verbals & Pauses)

    Unit 2: Call Structure (Check-ins, Being Caller-led, Call Flow, Building Rapport)

    Unit 3: Empowerment Skills (Validating, Normalizing, Cheerleading, Mythbusting)

    Unit 4: Feelings-Oriented Calls (Exploring Feelings)

    Unit 5: Solution-Oriented Calls (Safety Planning, Introducing Resources, Risk Assessment, Grounding Exercises)

  • Unit 1: Self Care (in-house)

    Unit 2: LGBTQIA+ Cultural Humility (in-house)

    Unit 3: Substance Use & Overdose Education (supported by MO-HOPE Project)

    Unit 4: Relationship & Sexual Violence, Survivor Support (supported by St. Louis Anti-Violence Project and Safe Connections)

    Unit 5: MTUG Resources (supported by Metro Trans Umbrella Group)

    Unit 6: LGBTQIA-related Policies (supported by PROMO)

  • As part of homework assignments and weekly recaps, helpline volunteers read through SQSH's Helpline Protocols Manual to learn and understand the various standard procedures we use to respond to specific call scenarios. These include:

    Unit 1: Confidentiality Policy

    Unit 2: Volunteer Support (Volunteer Boundaries & Triggers, Monthly Call Debriefs)

    Unit 3: Standard Call Protocols (Being On Call, Intake, Outtake, Basic SQSH Information, Shift Transition, Closing)

    Unit 4: Office Protocols (Opening & Closing the Office, On-Site Emergencies)

    Unit 5: Non-Standard Calls (Identity Disconnect, Interruption, Personal Boundaries, Friend Calls, Repeat Caller, Abusive Caller, Homicidal Caller, Perpetrator Call, Blacklisting Policy)

    Unit 6: Risk Assessment & Harm Reduction (Self-Harm, Suicide, Intoxicated Caller, Substance Use & Overdose)

    Unit 7: Contacting Emergency & Reporting Services (Contacting 911 or Police Alternatives, Reporting Abuse & Neglect)

    Unit 8: Phone System Procedures (Making Call-Backs, Adding a Caller to the Line, Technological Difficulties)

  • Roleplays are designed for Helpline Volunteers to practice their peer counseling skills in realistic call scenarios, designed by our Helpline Trainers and written by our Roleplay Writers. Roleplays range from 15 minutes to 1 hour, and focus on a variety of topics and peer counseling skills described above. We source our roleplay prompts from the lived experiences of LGBTQIA+ individuals holding diverse identities, drawing from a mixture of previous SQSH calls, our personal experiences, clinical case studies, published compilations and anthologies of queer stories, scenarios shared by our community partners, and interviews with guest speakers and community members.

    Example of Roleplay
    Source: Queering the Map
    Caller's Tone: Depressed, Upset, Lonely, Worried, Hurt

    “You, a Latinx nonbinary woman who uses she/her pronouns, just experienced an unexpected breakup with your partner (a White lesbian woman who uses she/her pronouns) and you are very distressed about this. Your ex-partner’s family had been saying some very racist things in your presence lately, and also made repeated references to not believing that non-binary people exist, and you believe your ex-partner may have broken up with you because of her family’s feelings about Latinx people. Part of the tensions that led to this perception is that your ex-partner did nothing to defend you when her family made these comments.


    You are nervous about calling SQSH because you don’t know if they are equipped to discuss relationship issues, and anyways, it seems like something that you should just handle yourself. You were raised to be strong and independent, and you feel that’s how you should react after this breakup. However, today (the day after the breakup) was a really bad emotional day for you, and you need someone to talk to who can listen to your emotions and help you understand the emotional ups and downs of this recent experience. You’re also concerned because you’ve had issues with overuse of alcohol and benzodiazepines in the past and your ex-partner was your accountability partner, and you’re concerned that in your current emotional state you may be tempted to use these substances.”